


Hide

by BleedMeAMelody



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Death, M/M, No violence though, like reeeaaalllly short, this is short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:26:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedMeAMelody/pseuds/BleedMeAMelody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You’re gonna want to find me, but you have to realize that now’s not the time. I need you to be patient and wait. It’ll be hard for you, you always hated waiting. Just think of it as one of our games of hide and seek. I’m hiding while you count to ten. Don’t panic if you can’t find me right away, I’m always close by, always in your heart. You’ll find me eventually, you always do. I know you will. I believe in you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Hide by Yellowcard

To my beautiful Niall,

           The first thing I want, no I need, to say is that I’m sorry. This isn’t how I wanted things to work out. I always imagined us getting married, settling down, having kids, enjoying our lives together. Not anymore. Deep down, you’ve already forgiven me; you’re just too hurt and confused and scared to realize it. Eventually you will. Once you’ve stopped shouting your voice hoarse and drinking until the world is a little more blurry and a little less painful, you’ll think of us kissing, and baking holiday cookies, a cuddling on rainy days without an ache engulfing your body and crushing your chest. I’m sorry that I’m the cause of all of your suffering. I’m sorry we had to part like this.

           The second thing I want to tell you is that you need to stay calm when you wake up. It’s scary, hell it’s fucking terrifying, but you’ve gotta keep it together. For my sake. Ease the tension in your shoulders, unclench your fists, and just take a deep breath. It seems so difficult and wrong, but you have to trust me. I know that the first thing you’ll do is look for me, and when you find out I… _I’m sorry_.  I know I promised, promised that I’d always be there, that we’d always be together, and you have no idea how much it fucking hurts to break that. But I need you to realize that I had no say in the matter. No matter how much I struggled, fought to be by your side, I couldn’t change this. You see me as Superman, but I’m no more exceptional than the next guy.

           You’re going to swear. You’re going to curse my name to the heavens and wish we’d never met. You’re going to hate me. That’s okay; I deserve every bit of it, every scream, every insult, every plea, every desperate cry, everything you can throw at me. You have every right to hate me. I’m sorry. Tears are going to pour down your face until you can’t see straight and you’ll swear that you didn’t mean any of it. But I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Please, please don’t cry over me. I’m already a mess knowing that I’m the cause of your pain; I can’t handle your tears, too. You need to get up and keep going. This isn’t the end. 

You’re gonna be scared. I… I’m so sorry. You’re gonna want to find me, but you have to realize that now’s not the time. I need you to be patient and wait. It’ll be hard for you, you always hated waiting. Just think of it as one of our games of hide and seek. I’m hiding while you count to ten. Don’t panic if you can’t find me right away, I’m always close by, always in your heart. You’ll find me eventually, you always do. I know you will. I believe in you. 

I may no longer be there to hold your hand and wake you up in the morning with kisses, but don’t you dare think for a second that that means you’re alone. I will always be with you, no matter what. I promised you that, and while I never thought that… this… would happen, I’m not about to break another promise, that would break me. Keep smiling, for me. You’re smile put the sun to shame. Don’t stop because I’m gone, people need to see it, to feel its warmth.

I know this isn’t fair. None of this is. I’d give anything to still be with you, to kiss away your tears, to hear your laugh, to hold you again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I caused you all this pain. I’m sorry there’s a hole in your heart where a piece of mine used to be. Just remember one thing: I love you. I love you so much Niall James Horan, more than anything else in this, or any other, world, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you. I tried, please believe me, I tried. I’m sorry that you died and I didn’t. I’m sorry that I’m still here and you’re not. I’m sorry.

Love always, your Liam

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://thesoundofyou-andme.tumblr.com), you know you want to!


End file.
